The National Brain in Recession by Reuben Abati

"Have you eaten today? If not, let me show you this new restaurant. Good food, the service girls specially attractive, the Madam herself is quite friendly."

"What are you proposing: the food, the service girls or the Madam? Sorry to disappoint you, I am fasting."

"When did you become a Muslim?"

"Is it only Muslims that fast? Fasting is good for everyone's spirit and system."

"Forget about that. Come and have a good bite. I am the one paying anyway, so what's your problem?"

"This man, are you living in Mars? You mean you don't know that this is Ramadan and that some people have made it risky for non-Muslims to go and eat? I don't want to risk my life. Even when you are not fasting or you are a Christian, the best thing to say during this season is to insist that you are also fasting."

Unclaimed dividends have been significantly reduced – Olugbemi

The efforts of regulators and registrars have led to a reduction in unclaimed dividends to 5.05 per cent of total dividends declared in the last 10 years, the Institute of Capital Market Registrars, has said.

According to the institute, this is a major improvement over the situation in the past when the level of unclaimed dividend was as high as 24 per cent.

The President, Institute of Capital Market Registrars, Mr. Bayo Olugbemi, said this in Lagos ahead of the institute’s 5th annual conference, which is scheduled to take place in Lagos on June 21.

CBN orders banks to refund excess CoT charges

The Central Bank of Nigeria, CBN, has ordered banks to refund Commission on Turnover, CoT, charges above the regulatory maximum to customers.
It also banned banks from imposing account maintenance fees on customers.
The order was given in a circular by the Director, Financial Policy and Regulation department, Mr. Frankline Ahonkhai, to all deposit money banks.
The CBN said that based on the Revised Guide to Bank Charges issued last year, maximum CoT charge for 2014 is N2 per mile (N1,000) but some banks are charging customers above this rate.

CBN laments rising cases of money laundering

Dr. Mrs. Sarah Alade CBN Governor

The Central Bank of Nigeria on Monday lamented the rising cases of financial crimes in the country, noting that the trend was raising serious concerns about the integrity of the financial system.

The Acting Governor, CBN, Dr. Sarah Alade, stated this in Abuja at the opening session of the regional course on combating money laundering and other financial crimes.

The workshop was organised by the West African Institute for Financial and Economic Management.

Alade said the increase in money laundering needed to be addressed, adding that the dimension, nature and level of sophistication of the crime were becoming a major source of worry for the monetary authorities.